ana:lies

Just kidding. I’ll be back sometime.

I have a feeling this isn’t going to last long.

But I want it to, ‘cause that mean’s I actually have control over myself.

I NEED MATH/SCI ACA TEAM people for Saturday’s Funvention.

Call/email me if you need me.

Or catch me at school. At lunch I’m usually in math. If I’m not gone afterschool, I’m there or in Naks’ or M201.

Adios.

Lol, Sam, I don’t think I could do it. I don’t think I can survive. XP

I feel like talking about my life. Not that anyone would really care… but I’m going to anyway. I feel like its making me feel better.

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right now, people make me want to cry, and school makes me want to panic. i’m trying to find comfort in piano covers of popular music. idk anymore. this is me trying to run away.

Weekend recap for my own memory’s sake (well this actually does not help much if I cannot remember what happened either):

Friday - furlough day.
Piano rehearsal for Solofest. Did not go as well, but it was fine.
YS rehearsal in the evening, for once I was not falling asleep.

Saturday - mom & dad’s anniversary.
Solofest at 8:00am. It was ok.
Viotti Concerto #23 (I), I believe, minus the cadenza.
Project Grad steak plate sales at school, scooping rice and sorting recyclables (disgusting…)

Sunday - so-called Valentine’s day.
Stayed home.
OMGPOP and chatting.
Finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower.
Learned a strange amount of new things about videogames.

Monday - President’s day
Yama’s Fish Market for lunch and yogurt covered pretzels.
YS rehearsal at the normal time. I did fall asleep. -cough-
I blame the pretzels.

I am… not good for this week. Or for the rest of this school year.
I need… to cure this senioritis. ARGH.

And formspringer, whoever you are, how can I answer your question if you do not respond to my question… since I have no idea what you are talking about?

Leave me ponderings/revelations/random things. [x] [x]

BTW, just to irritate the heck out of you curious people, I made a, I guess, secret blog, but not without reason, haha. ;D That there is a hint in some sort of form or fashion, but eh, it’s too unclear of a hint to serve anyone any good. And that’s all.

I hope you all have a good week.

did you tell him already?

Did I tell who what? (Is this bad grammar?)

questions/statements/feelings/words (:

but what the hell, whatever, life is as it is.

I actually woke up on my own this morning before 9:00am , which is pretty good considering that usually when I stay up until 3 I need to be forced awake before 10…

Just like some of the past winter holidays, today is a “downtime” and we’re just sitting around the home. Actually, I’m supposed to be doing homework (which I kind of am but I will get to that later) but as usual, when our family has time at the home, my parents like to make us clean things… like they washed the car earlier and I helped a little bit. I don’t know why the sun was nice but it seemed like just being out there was draining me. Haha.

I’ve been trying to work on my sociology project, which at this point, is certain to be a disaster unless I change my topic. But if I change it… really, what am I going to do it on? Then I’d also have to work on it even more last minute… And I already bought the board from Ben Franklins that would work well. I have a layout already. I just… don’t have content. How can I be accurate with this information? I can make a lot of judgments from outside perspective… but that’s not researched information. Then again, I can generalize the topic even further, or actually go by analyzing what my generalization was… but that might make me seem even more idiotic and misinformed than I already am (curse presentations in front of more judgmental peers). I think I’m going to ask her to change topics. I mean, that will only give me one day to work on it… but hey, I’m used to that already. I probably would’ve done majority of it on that day anyway. I guess that’s what I’ve got to remind myself to do.

OMGPOP = horrible distraction. Especially if other are using the winning/losing thing as a way to try to get information out of me… -coughcough-

Uhm. I’m tired. I don’t remember what I was doing. I mean, what I was doing before I am back to writing this post and before I just read a whole lot of… stuff that was kind of cute and kind of made me feel like ack because lol I’m not sure.

Hrm. I’m not making sense. Life hasn’t been making sense recently. That’s fine. I’ll look back on this blog some day and laugh my guts out at how silly I was. Just looking back to my first posts kind of made me realize how much has changed, as well. I like how the posts looked back then; clean, simple, honestly me. They were my pictures and quotes I had picked out and my feelings - I was staying true to the ana:lies point of me making this.

Oh and I was reading about the Tumblr founder and it was quite interesting.

Ok. I’m sad thinking about the past. I’m tired thinking of the future. I’m frustrated thinking of the present. And… I guess I’m hopeful overall. I just… Nyah. I want everyone to be happy. And I feel that there are many things that I have been making mistakes in recently, and those mistakes certainly haven’t been good. Maybe they’re not that major either, but… they’re mistakes that I feel have been letting people down. Did you expect more of me? I’m sorry if I’ve come through as a bad friend.

I’m still trying to learn and understand. It seems I keep missing things, though. I’m going to try to be more attentive…

Woohoo (kind of).

Yesterday/last night was probably the most… relaxed of the week? I don’t know. There were a lot of stressful things, but yesterday sure felt a lot better than the rest of the week was. I don’t know. Is worrying better than feeling depressed? 8D It’s not that bad though — yesterday I felt I learned a lot. I’m socked that I got on the computer close to… 8:30 pm I think? And I stayed up to about 3. The whole time was spent chatting and playing games; ridiculous. I didn’t get anything done. But I felt somewhat more in tune with life afterwards.

Man, I set my phone alarm for 7:00 am. I wanted to try to wake up early so I could have more of a day… Especially since later I’ve got rehearsal, rehearsal, rehearsal… Ick, lol. But silly me, when the alarm went off, I woke up and hurriedly shut it off. =P Not even just “snooze.” I distinctly remember fumbling around and then accidentally hitting snooze, and then thinking briefly about it again and how I didn’t really want to wake up at all… so I turned it off. And woke up at about 10.

Hahaha… That’s okay, though. It gave me reason to eat a smaller breakfast. Ew, breakfast.

I’ve done my practicing for the day. I… am hating the music for HYS if only for the fact that they have the same irritating “run pony” rhythmns and changing time signatures. I’m kind of sad that I don’t actually have any math homework to do… I really want to do math homework right now, lol.

Yesterday: Chap 12 Test. I hate that I didn’t remember what turns into a scalar when dealing with vectors. ARGH. And stupid mistakes, as usual, on the benchmark make up… I always forget to put the radical in and then I don’t take the square roots that I need to. Grr…

After a gruesome lesson in the afternoon (shit, I can’t play my solofest piece that well anymore. Where is my warm toneeeee. D= I need to improve.) I was dragged to the gloomy rainy place called Millilani (but I do love their trees) to watch the central district spelling be. Middle schoolers… get funny words, haha. Most kids got knocked out in the second round =/. My sister got words like this: centipede, xylophone, affinity, fathom, and mole (“mo-lay”). It was the mole that got her. Poor her and the other girl… They were knocked out in that round both with Spanish-like words. But in my head I was laughing because when she got affitnity, I thought of electron affinity and then when she got mole… (: Yay chemistry.

Mkay, I think I’m going to try and get something done for once.

Have a good Valentine’s Day/Chinese New Years weekend guys.

And sorry again for all the reblogging and for these darn pointless posts.